Love: A Matter of Abiding - 1st John 4:7-21


They say that over time pets and their owners start to favor one another. Play clip. While it may not always be the case, I have seen instances where it seems uncannily true.  One of the things that makes you stop and wonder, though (at least makes me stop and wonder), is whether it is the pet that the owner is shaping to look like them, or the owner, who is trying to look more like their pet.
My brothers and sisters, over the last couple of weeks surrounding Valentines, we have been discussing love.  We began by considering “Love” to be “a matter of light and darkness.”  We heard the words of John in his letter as he said,
“Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person there is no cause for stumbling.  But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness.”[i] 
Here we discovered that as we love, we bear the light of Christ to the world…people are able to see and understand what God is like as the look to us.  We reflected back to the Gospel of John as Jesus stated that the world will know that we are followers of Him (Christ) if we love one another.  From this we came to understand that if we hate, if we operate out of anything other than love for those around us, then we can no longer claim to be walking in the light of God, in fact we are no longer following Jesus, we are following the one who reigns in the darkness of our world…living with hate means we walk in the darkness following not the King of Kings, but the Prince of Darkness.
We moved last week to consider how “Love” is “a matter of truth and action.”  We heard John say:
“We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another.  Whoever does not love abides in death.  All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them.  We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.  How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s good and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?  Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”[ii]
Here we realized that to love in truth and action means a willingness to sacrifice and be uncomfortable for the sake of those we are called to love.
While we consider these words of John, trouble may start rising up within us.  We think of how difficult a time we have with loving, simply loving one another.  We consider it “very human” to hate those that have wronged us or those who do not think like us or those who don’t look like us or act like us or like the same things that we like.  We consider it natural to look out for ourselves first.  With that being the case, we have to stop and ask ourselves, how are we supposed to learn to love when it seems so easy to hate, to harbor bitterness, to withhold forgiveness, focus on ourselves, and do just about anything but love.
The answer, my brothers and sisters, can be found in 1st John.  As we have moved through large chunks of the First letter of John, in addition to the word “Love” which is clearly central to the letter (appearing multiple times in 46 times within 26 out of its short 105 verses), there is another word that comes up almost as often.  26 times over 14 different verses, accounting for over 10% of the verses the author wrote, the author uses the word “abide.”
If we consider the close tie, as we have previously, between this letter of John and the Gospel of John, we are called to a passage in chapter 15 in which Jesus declares himself to be the True Vine.  Within six verses of this passage, Jesus uses the word “abide” eleven times.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.   As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.   If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.   I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.   “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.   No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.[iii]
There is no doubt that just as important as “loving” is, in order to “love” as God’s Word calls us to love—from “loving one another” to “loving our enemies”—we have to “abide.”  So what does it mean to “abide”?  According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “abide” means 1) “to accept or bear”; 2) “to stay or live somewhere”; or 3) “to remain or continue.”
We have this call from John to abide with God, to abide with Jesus, to abide in love.  It is a call to accept Jesus, live with Jesus, and remain with Jesus.  This is how we come to love like Jesus, we abide with Him.
If we accept Jesus…evangelicals like using that phrase…and, for better or worse, it has become part of our Christian dialect.  You know the question, “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?”  Whether we like that terminology or not, it does bring us to a point of consideration here.  Jesus has come.  Jesus is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  Jesus has, is, and will rule over all.  Yet, God, in His infinite love for us, gives us free will.  We have to choose whether or not to surrender our lives to Christ and accept His rule in our lives.  If we do accept His rule, His Lordship, then His Word binds us.  Why should we choose love over hate, forgiveness over resentment, compassion over judgment, sacrifice over self-preservation?  It is because Jesus, as the one we have accepted as our Lord, has commanded us to love one another.  If I have truly surrendered to Christ and accepted Him as my Lord, then I am bound by His commands.  That’s the hard sell…we simply love because Jesus, our King, told us to love.
That, though, does not teach us to love.  How do we learn to love like Jesus wants us to love?  Truly loving is not something that can be done simply because it is commanded.  Loving is not a disciplined function of the brain, but something that flows out of our hearts.  How do we come to have the heart that Jesus wants us to have?  That’s where the other two definitions of “abide” come into play.  To abide also means “to stay or live somewhere” or “to remain or continue.”  While there are some slight differences among those two definitions, they are close enough for us to consider them as one.
Who we live with, who we remain with, affects who we become.  Think of the repeated studies that show that children who grow up in abusive homes tend to become abusers themselves.  What they live with and remain in shapes and influences who they become.  Think also of those law enforcement officials who go deep undercover and become part of a gang, a drug cartel, or some other criminal organization.  Many times those agents, even after coming out from undercover, are found to use both the “language and social style of the criminal group”[iv] they had infiltrated.  What they live with and remain in shapes and influences who they become.  Considering the recent re-release of The Jungle Book, we have to consider the true stories of feral children who grew up living with bears, wolves, gazelle, leopards, birds, and other animals.  These children, observed, several “rescued,” were found to bear not only the habits, but many of the physical traits of those animals among which they lived.  What they lived with and remained with, influenced who they became.[v]
While those examples offer negatives instances of having one’s personality and lifestyle shaped by the individuals living conditions, environmental influence does not have to be negative.  Above any other example is that of Jesus.
Jesus, my friends is not like many rulers, officials, or politicians who like to make laws that they do not necessarily choose themselves to live by.  Jesus, as we accept Him into our lives, does not ask us to do anything that He, Himself, is not willing to do.  John, in the letter and in the Gospel, call us to come to love by abiding with God, by abiding with Jesus.  Jesus invites us to come alongside Himself and come to see and understand what love is and how to live it out.  If we move from accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior to living with Jesus as a daily part of our lives, then we will come to be able to love like Him.
How do we live with Jesus?  How do we remain with Jesus?  How do we abide with Jesus? 
It is when we spend time with Him.  It is when we spend intentional time reading and studying God’s Word.  Reading the Bible is not something we only do in church.  Sunday School is not only for children.  Hearing the stories of Jesus should not stop when we turn 18 or 20 or 30 or 40 or 50.  When we spend time in God’s Word, we spend time with the Living Word, we live with and remain with Jesus.  We should constantly be reflecting on the accounts offered to us by those who walked with Jesus day in and day out, as well as those who were directly influenced by those Disciples.  As we read the accounts of the Disciples’ encounters with the One who is True Love, we see what it means to truly love. As we read and study, living and remaining, we allow the stories of Jesus to influence and shape our lives.  What we live with and remain with influences who we become.
How do we live with Jesus?  How do we remain with Jesus?  How do we abide with Jesus?
It is when we spend time with Him.  It is when we spend time walking with Him, talking with Him, and listening to Him.  It is in prayer.  It is learning to pray to God in the Name of Jesus not taking to God our “wish lists” as if rubbing the cross turn Jesus into a genie in a lamp…but truly learning to pray as Jesus taught…prayers that shift our wants and needs away from ourselves and opens us up to be shaped into the image of Jesus…conversations with God that are just as much if not more about changing us as about bargaining with or trying to change God…praying “Thy Kingdom come…Thy Will be done…on Earth as it is in Heaven…Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us….”  Prayers like that, conversations like that, move us from our own will to the will of God.  Spending time in conversation with God through prayer should shape and move us.  What we live with and remain with influences who we become.
How do we live with Jesus?  How do we remain with Jesus?  How do we abide with Jesus?
It is when we spend time with God’s family.  True this family is made of others like ourselves who are far from perfect…but how can we expect to love those in the world that God loves, if we have trouble loving our brothers and sisters that Jesus has joined us to—that’s why Jesus’ command begins with “Love one another.”  We are called to love one another as members of the Body of Christ, because as we do, as we strive to love and forgive amongst ourselves, it beings to transform us into those who can accept, love, and embrace those who are far from God in the world, that they may come to experience the True Love of God found in Christ Jesus our Lord.
How do we come to walk in the light?  How do we love through truth and action?  We do so by abiding with Christ…accepting Christ…living with Christ…remaining with Christ, not just today, but each and every day of our lives…for God is Love…and if we accept Him, live with Him, remain with Him…we will become Love as well…
In the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

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[i] 1st John 2:10-11
[ii] 1st John 3:14-18
[iii] John 15:1-13
[iv] http://www.wendywestie.com/fitzgerald_manual.html
[v] http://listverse.com/2008/03/07/10-modern-cases-of-feral-children/

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